Repeating Mistakes

School and life help 1) People with ADHD generally repeat their mistakes. If you think about the school journey there are so many times where we are repeatedly reprimanded for making the same mistake over and over. Sometimes we don’t make the mistake and a well-meaning person will suggest we are finally learning from our mistakes. Time goes by and we make the same mistake again only to disappoint ourselves or the teacher, spouse, or friend.

In school one example might be remembering to write an assignment due date in to a calendar that is used. Two items there one is writing in the calendar and the second is looking at the calendar. The point is getting in trouble for not turning in homework on time because it was not entered in the calendar. After being yelled at a few times one remembers to write in the calendar for a week or two and homework is on time. After a month or two and an assignment or two is dropped, bam here comes the “haven’t you learned your lesson speech.”
Of course if you have ADHD you have experienced this scenario. Don’t beat yourself up, we don’t easily grasp the bigger picture so the idea of saving a penny today for a dollar tomorrow or saving oneself from future hardship by writing the assignment in a calendar just does not have any permanent resonance. Actually it’s even worse because we remember that we wanted to do better but we don’t have control over that part of our brain. When it’s on and firing we are great but when it’s not we don’t usually realize it until later. We end up living with the mantra of I should do this or should have done that.

An additional example is checkbook maintenance. Those pesky
fees from banks were made to get rich off of those with ADHD, I’m convinced of it. Each time the bank is paid up and I remind myself I’m going to enter every single item as it occurs I get along great for a while and then once again something overdraws the account. As an adult you may have experienced this scenario. Unfortunately coaching experience tells me the cost goes far beyond bank fees. The point is simply you are not alone and mostly remember if you have a particular weak spot understanding it allows you to ask for help when working on it. If you make a mistake that’s because of how your ADHD brain works you are likely to make it again.

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